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February 6, 2011 11:08 PM Aware. A growing sense of awareness has been creeping over me this weekend. For a while I was in a stupor, buried beneath the mounds of selfishness I've tried desperately to throw off. All kinds of abominable thoughts prevailing, I was miserable pretty much the whole weekend. Sure, being sick didn't help but facts are facts and I've been a lump. Tonight it occurred to me as I was loading the dishwasher, how you sometimes hear songs about men wailing about how blind they were [at the time], how they threw [it all away] and other such standard Country music banter. As I dropped the soap block into the compartment, closed the cover and pressed the "Start" button, I realized a number of things. First, I don't (ever) want to wind up in a Country song. Second, one of the gifts of being aware is the ability to acknowledge your environment, the things (and people) around you. In my case, I've got an amazing [environment.] Third, one can be tempted to be selfish. I first becamse aware of my selfishness years ago when my life became inter-tangled with Kristi's, but I never considered it something one could be tempted with. Being aware of this now, it has continued to be a struggle for me, I think the struggle is getting more intense, and I do not know why. Maybe this is the next step in my spiritual walk? Maybe this is the next of a long line of temptations I have to face? Maybe it's just a side effect of sleep deprivation? The thing I miss the most in my life right now is strong friends. All of mine seem to have disappeared. You get busy, you get married, have a couple of kids, before long you discover there is so little time to hang out with old friends, the phone calls get farther apart, the number of days between visits increase, and the depth of the conversations continues to get more and more shallow. Sigh. These are certianly times when I could use some trustworthy advice, an ear to listen and a mind to reason with... February 9, 2011 11:24 PM Selling Treasure to the highest bidder  I listed a whole bunch of my childhood computer parts for sale tonight, starting at a buck-a-piece and hoping for the best. I am torn in many directions on this action. Part of me cannot believe I am selling off my beloved Commodore hardware. Another part of me is reeling from the irony of using an IBM compatible PC, the arch nemesis of the Commodore 64, TO SELL the Commodore 64. Well actually not the '64 itself, but some disk drives, cables and cartridges for said computer. But then there's also a part of me that feels a sense of relief at clearing out items I have come to realize I will not have time to put to any practical use again in my lifetime. And now there is also a growing part of me that is excited and anxious to know just what the market is willing to pay for my treasures. So far, even in the first hour of their listing, I've got quite a few people watching the horde, and have already fielded two questions about said stash. So that is very promising indeed.  Another part of me is sad that this little fellow will never get to play with the same computers that I learned on. But of course, by the time he is old enough to do so, I think the information gap would be so wide there's probably no practical value in learning such systems anyway. Their time and place has simply passed. Our whole family has been down with the latest round of flu, cold, bug, virus, sickness, illness, disease, pestillence, infection, ailment, ointment, poultice, or whatever it is this week. I think everyone is near the better side of the mend, and what a relief that is proving to be. It's one thing to be sick, another to have someone sick in your house, but when the whole kit and kaboodle is under the weather? You can almost see the haze of germs floating in the air amid the sound of six throats coughing mercilessly into it... Sigh. Oh well, making bottles and off to bed. Where does the time go? February 21, 2011 10:58 PM An Un-Flattering Look Into My Life   Alright, I admit it — I was going for shock value with that picture. Last night I tried ear candles for the first time in my life ever, and apparently — the amount of wax they drew out of my hearing organs was a lot. So says the wife, anyways... Shocked and appalled? Well, this day's entry gets a LOT cuter.  One of the things I love about being home on the weekends, particularly of late, is morning sunlight pouring in through our living room windows, and all the interesting sparkles and shadows it casts about the room. I missed some of the better ones, but you can get a glimpse of that which I am referring to in the picture above. It is, absolutely, without a doubt, beautiful. ... And, speaking of beautiful. Some new pictures of my growing family.  A few days ago, we built a snow fort in the front yard, which digressed into a snowball fight, which further digressed into me getting covered with snow.     Peekaboo has begun.         No sooner had Kristi finished icing and shaving tiny tasty bits of chocolate onto the cake she had just created than she announced with a sense of no time to lose: Well, let's eat it. And so she did. Perhaps I may have had a sliver or two... The preceeding was written under duress. What I MEANT to say was that she is a wonderful wife and cook and mother and .. um .. feeling the pinch... I have got to stop writing with the wife over my shoulder... Nothing like having your own, personal, real-time critic. "That's not what happened, you're taking too many creative liberties!" "I didn't say that..." Giggle giggle. This has become a court recorder version of the conversation taking place... "It's my web site, I write the stories," I said. Are you done? Yes, let's go to bed. .. to which she replied: .. nothing, apparently.   Let me sum up: Kids, Cake, and Ear Wax Candles. How's that for a balanced entry? BACK to Journal Index |