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September 27, 2002 I'm in Nanaimo! I just went wakeboarding and it's a beautiful, sunny day under a clear sky. I heard it snowed in Calgary last night... That must stink. Sure glad I'm not there... But of course I will be returning to Cow Town shortly. Oh, and Casey, I will be updating the site shortly once I get back! September 16, 2002 Allright, I know Christmas is still a long way off. But I couldn't help but notice that there are only a few short months until Christmas! Where does the time go!? It's unbelievable how quickly the summer has come and gone, and now with the leaves turning their color and falling to the ground, it won't be long till the lawnmowers are replaced with snow blowers. In a way I am kind of looking forward to the winter this year, though I thought I'de never be saying it. Something about the approach of winter, with it's brisk mornings, cold, crisp, clear air, the muffled sound of snow crunching under boots, the smell hot breath in a wool scarf, can you see the frost on the windows and icicles dangling from every overhanging surface? Winter of course, means Christmas is not far behind it, and lately I have been dwelling on thoughts of past Christmas celebrations. There is a small sound clip I've found that for some reason has intrigued me, stirring up warm memories of a time long ago, when life was simple, cares were few and trivial, and the slightest surprise could delight the soul.
When I listen to the voices in that song, several images waft through my mind, first of all I see a choir singing in the Tab, with candles on eloquent stands placed throughout the stage. A large croud fills the pues, the flickering light from the candles glows on the smiling faces of those in attendance. I see my grandparents' house, and our whole family is gathered around the Christmas Tree, waiting in turn for a present to open. Grandpa is in his chair, carefully examining every package to identify it's recipient. "Here, Blair, give this one to Christy" he instructs as he passes a neatly wrapped box to Blair, who carries it over to Christy, waiting ever so patiently. We're all so little. Behind us against the old radio sits a sheet of cardboard with a brick fireplace drawn with crayons. Stockings line the make-believe mantle, one for each. Grandpa has the Christmas lights on the big pine tree on the front lawn. The glow of incandescent lights from the kitchen drift into the family room, while the bulbs on the tree sparkle through the glitter draped on each branch. Parents smile sitting next to each other as they watch their childrens' eyes beam with excitement at the unwrapping of each present. Still the song plays here, as I kneel in my room, one tear -- now two drips down over the keys. I miss grandpa. Something in the song reminds me of him. The beauty of the sound, pure voices, without obstruction of instrument, singing in harmony, touching the ears and reaching the soul. It also reminds me of the last time our family sang together, in that small room out in Linden. Tears three, four, and five have now dampened my keyboard. Someone who works with electricity all day ought to know better than to combine moisture with electronics... There will never be a Christmas quite like the ones I remember. The innocence is lost, life became complicated. But I will always remember, cling desperately to those precious memories. As we prepare for the season to come, let us not forget the years behind us. May we never become too caught up in the presents and the hustle that we forget why we celebrate the twenty-fifth of December. I realize it's several months away yet, but do we really have to wait till that one day to remember Him who gave us a gift that lasts forever? September 2, 2002 - 12:39 AM Another season at Sandy Cove is quickly comming to an end. It doesn't seem like summer has even been here yet, but the leaves which once covered the trees are now starting to cover the ground. Nights are getting colder, take it from someone who sleeps in a tent! It's dark by 9:30 now, when I can remember nights at 11 where the sun was just setting. It went by too quickly. As I lie in my tent here, lantern above me turned to low, writing about the weekend in passing, I can't help but wonder: Am I bad company? The windup aside, the weekends of this season have all occured already, and this being my third summer at Sandy Cove I've noticed a lot of things have changed. The first summer everything was new, I didn't know anyone, nobody knew me. It was a year of starting friendships and having a lot of fun. When I think of the summer of 2000, two names stand out: Shauntelle and Kristin. Shauntelle and I started dating the following winter, and have continued to be close friends ever since, and Kristin introduced me to her wonderful family who have effectively 'adopted' me. There were many other friends made that first summer, but like I said, these two friends stood out that first year. Then in 2001 I camped a bit more seriously. I bought a tent, a big tent for that matter, anticipating sharing it with various friends whom I hoped would come camping with me. There were a few new faces at the lake last year, but for the most part the same people were at the lake. Shauntelle and I were still going out and continued on throughout the summer. This added a new layer of complexity to the summer, but for the most part things still ran fairly smoothly. Lake politics were starting to emerge, however, which have become even more prevelent this year. It's interesting, I used to see Pine Lake as a place to get away from it all, to relax, unwind, play, have fun, live a worry-free life, if only for a short time. Now it seems that life out here is more complicated, difficult, and frustrating than my life at home... In many ways I wish the summer were only starting, and that there were still months ahead where I could camp. In other ways, though, I am glad it is all but concluded and don't know if I shall be returning next year. Right now I can't remember why I came out here. Everyone I thought was my friend ditched me this weekend to do other things with other people... We were going to watch a movie this evening, and many people said they would come, but it turns out they went to play Truth or Dare in Carmen's trailer instead. Shauntelle and I spent almost the entire weekend together and it was interesting because every time, without exception, we approached the 'cluster' of kids we used to spent time with, EVERY TIME they all dispersed within 5 minutes. I actually timed it once, five minutes and twenty-three seconds. Everyone was gone, where once a group of 8 stood, only Shauntelle and I were left exchanging 'That was interesting' glances. And yes, they are just a bunch of kids and no, I shouldn't care, but my options for friends are limited at the lake. Everybody my age is either drinking or smoking pot; two things I will not do nor condone doing. I've been asked many times by many people to buy alcohol for them, and my answer has been no every time. It troubles me to see a person believing they need a drink in order to have a good time. And when it's kids who are believing this, it makes me all the more saddened. And yes, a lot of people look at me funny for spending my time taking kids for rides on the Seadoo or on the tube. I know this, and I've known it for years. I know some parents have said to other people, "Who is this John guy? And why does he hang around with little kids? I'de never trust him with my children..." And just like that, they condemn me as some kind of sick-o. Not once have they asked me personally, why I spend my time the way I do and with whom I do. They just quietly judge me from a distance. I don't believe that's fair and I don't believe it is right, but that is how it is. Nobody ever said life was fair... When I was a little kid, probably no more than 10 years old, my whole family would come and camp at Pine Lake. This tradition dates back to when my mom was a child, and carries on to this day. This one year, while I was standing on the dock at the campground we stayed at, this guy pulled up to the dock on a Seadoo and asked if I wanted to go for a ride. You have to understand, at that time nobody in our family had boats, personal watercraft were unheard of, and the only time we ever got on the water was in a row boat. That day stuck in my mind; the influence a stranger can have on your life. Of course, looking back now it might not have been the safest thing to do, nobody knew him, nobody knew where he was camping or where he was from... but he made a difference in my life, and ever since then, I've always wanted to be someone like that. It turned out I was fortunate enough to be able to purchase a Seadoo when I was 19, (which I am still paying for, mind you...) but when you see the face of one of those little kids light up with a smile beaming from ear to ear, tell me you would rather get drunk and party and I'll tell you who the sick-o is. See you at the windup. 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